Wednesday, June 4, 2014

T is for Thirty

Me: Hi twenties.
Twenties: Hey.
Me: I'm going to be thirty this week.
Twenties: Don't I know it.
Me: I'm actually kind of glad, Twenties. I feel pretty steady.
Twenties: But thirty means that you're getting old. I'm young. Stay young.
Me: I do feel a little old.
Twenties: Exactly.
Me: But saying that thirty feels old is a little insulting to people who are older than that. Thirty is young, twenties. We've still got a lot of life in us yet.
Twenties: Let's talk about this 'life' of ours. Don't you want to come back to my side and do things a bit better?
Me: Such as?
Twenties: Love. Work. Money. You know, the big stuff.
Me: Money? Maybe. But we've got a nice home, and food in the fridge, and a crap-load of education. Work? We did good work, twenties. Remember how alive we felt so often? We feel that alive now, too. I'll fight to do the work that makes us feel alive, I promise. Love? Whatever I did wrong, it brought me to this love.
Twenties: You're not married.
Me: I have time.
Twenties: You don't have a kid.
Me: I have time.
Twenties: You haven't published the book.
Me: I have time.
Twenties: You won't always have time. Come back to my side; we'll have all the time in the world.
Me: Sorry, Twenties. It ain't gonna happen. You're not gonna win this argument. Let's talk about the things we love about each other? I'll go first: I love you for letting me figure myself out.
Twenties: I love you for figuring yourself out.
Me: I love you for letting me do stupid things sometimes. I needed that.
Twenties: I love you for knowing how to recover from the stupid things. Solitude. Apology. Truth-telling. You got better at those things every time.
Me: It took me awhile though.
Twenties: It's okay. That's what I was for.
Me: I'm sorry that it took me so long to say 'This is who I am'.
Twenties: But you said it.
Me: It made me lose people and places. It made me hurt people.
Twenties: But that's one of the things I taught you, remember? You're going to hurt people. If you want to be who you are in this world. If you want to tell the truth. When you walk away, brush the dust from your feet. 
Me: And just send back love.
Twenties: Exactly.
Me: My birthday is on Saturday, Twenties.
Twenties: I'll be there.
Me: I'll have to walk away from you.
Twenties: Brush the dust from your feet.
Me: I'll send you back love.
Twenties: Only love.

Thanks for reading.


No comments:

Post a Comment